a letter, opened
Warning: The following text may give the impression that the author harbors some grand delusions about himself. But don't worry. As great as he thinks he is, the author is also crippled by emotional ignorance, paranoia, and low self-esteem, so it should balance out nicely.
I have this problem. Maybe you have had it, too. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know right from wrong and even if I did know, I'm not sure that I would have the courage to act on it.
Recently, I visited a good friend of mine that I went to college with. He lives about 400 miles away, so we don't see each other very often. After this most recent visit, I sent him an email explaining how I had a great time hanging out with him and getting to know the people he lives with. The following text is a part of his reply.
"The people in my house thought you were really cool and were asking about you after you left. This one girl , who by the way is very smart (graduated #1 in cognitive science) asked who you were. I replied, thats my super intellectual, crazy amazing musician freind. She then said, "thats why i asked he seemed to have the look of some crazy intellectual of some sort." Thats why she thought you were my friend. Anyways the point of that rambling anecdote is that the intensity of your mind is apparent - and it is up to you to find a creative outlet for the talent that visibly seeps from your presence. It is the obligation of the man burdened with a strong mind to harness it for the good of the world, and not let the mind harness him into something negative."
I highlighted the last sentence in red for a good reason. It is the reason for this whole post, in fact. I would recommend you go back and read it again.
Ok, let's assume that this is true and that it is not the case that I just put up a really good front. I have this intense crazy brain that pukes up talent on a regular basis and everyone can see it except me. I think I can accept this if it is true, and I can also accept that this blessing burdens me with a certain responsibility. Kind of like spiderman.
Here is my problem: How the fuck am I suppposed to know what is good for the world? Should I even worry about it? How do I know that my mind is trying to point me towards something negative rather than something positive? I can't help but feel that the same thing that makes me so great also makes me vile and pathetic for not knowing what to do with it.
It is this fear, this lack of certainty that causes me to sit and wait as my own blessing of a life passes by.
After writing the above text, I visited one of my favorite web pages. I rarely go there, but tend to recall its existence at oppportune moments such as this one. If the link doesn't work, all you have to do is google "the meaning of life". It's always the top ranked page.
http://users.aristotle.net/~diogenes/meaning1.htm
This one is good too. I think I may be at step eight right now.
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2003/11/11carman.html/
I have this problem. Maybe you have had it, too. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know right from wrong and even if I did know, I'm not sure that I would have the courage to act on it.
Recently, I visited a good friend of mine that I went to college with. He lives about 400 miles away, so we don't see each other very often. After this most recent visit, I sent him an email explaining how I had a great time hanging out with him and getting to know the people he lives with. The following text is a part of his reply.
"The people in my house thought you were really cool and were asking about you after you left. This one girl , who by the way is very smart (graduated #1 in cognitive science) asked who you were. I replied, thats my super intellectual, crazy amazing musician freind. She then said, "thats why i asked he seemed to have the look of some crazy intellectual of some sort." Thats why she thought you were my friend. Anyways the point of that rambling anecdote is that the intensity of your mind is apparent - and it is up to you to find a creative outlet for the talent that visibly seeps from your presence. It is the obligation of the man burdened with a strong mind to harness it for the good of the world, and not let the mind harness him into something negative."
I highlighted the last sentence in red for a good reason. It is the reason for this whole post, in fact. I would recommend you go back and read it again.
Ok, let's assume that this is true and that it is not the case that I just put up a really good front. I have this intense crazy brain that pukes up talent on a regular basis and everyone can see it except me. I think I can accept this if it is true, and I can also accept that this blessing burdens me with a certain responsibility. Kind of like spiderman.
Here is my problem: How the fuck am I suppposed to know what is good for the world? Should I even worry about it? How do I know that my mind is trying to point me towards something negative rather than something positive? I can't help but feel that the same thing that makes me so great also makes me vile and pathetic for not knowing what to do with it.
It is this fear, this lack of certainty that causes me to sit and wait as my own blessing of a life passes by.
After writing the above text, I visited one of my favorite web pages. I rarely go there, but tend to recall its existence at oppportune moments such as this one. If the link doesn't work, all you have to do is google "the meaning of life". It's always the top ranked page.
http://users.aristotle.net/~diogenes/meaning1.htm
This one is good too. I think I may be at step eight right now.
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2003/11/11carman.html/
posted by Unknown at
3/01/2005 09:42:00 AM
3 Comments:
oh matt.
You know perfectly well what's good for humanity.
It's so simple and obvious.
Stuff that makes people less afraid is good. Stuff that makes them more afraid is bad.
right?
That's a great fucking post, btw. Displaying your fear makes the reader feel less afraid. And that's good. I have infinite faith that you are wholly good.
e
he's right you know...
-l
mr e,
thank you for reading.
i think you may be on to something.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home