Last time here, I wrote about my challenging week. Tonight I shall discuss a new insight towards those events which at the time I chalked up to "the system" or some such nonsense. My new exlpanation rings much more of Hocus-Pocus than conspiracy theory.

I was raised in a Catholic home and went to a Catholic elementary school, though I am not a man of God. I never had a religious experience in that context and I was never very close to the man we call Jesus, though I was always fascinated by the stories of His life. Eventually, my Mother let me stay home on Sundays and I slowly graduated away from the Catholic Church. I now know god to be something much more than merely the patriarch of Christian folklore.

On the night of my crash, I spoke casually at the top of a hill with strangers. We spoke of joyous things and exchanged drinks or cigarettes or whatever we had at hand. At one point I found myself exclaiming in a most suprising and fluidly natural manner: "Praise be to god!" I have never said that and meant it in earnest, before that night. The only time before in my life when I have uttered that phrase was under my breath, as required, in response to certain cues by the priest during the Catholic Mass. Whatever it was that I was giving thanks to god for, I do not recall. Though at the time I remember thinking that what I said, while surprising, was not the least bit innappropriate. My new theory is that the god whom I called forth for praise is now testing me to see if I really am as joyful as I have made myself out to be.

So far I think I'm passing.