I cut myself the other day when I was changing a brake-light on my car. A rusty piece of metal went fairly deep into my finger. I washed it with soap and water and held a paper towel soaked in vinegar on it until the bleeding stopped. I'm sure I haven't gotten a tetanus shot in the past ten years. I don't think I've even been to the dentist in 10 years. It has been four days, and my right jaw muscle kind of hurts if I try to open my mouth all the way. I've had a pain like this before in the same place, but slightly less so. Should I be worried. Hmm. I stopped by the hospital on my way home from work last night, but I didn't go in. I fucking can't stand hospitals.

I work at a feverish pitch. The project is becoming clear and I can no longer see it as good or bad. It simply is. The only question that makes sense any more is "Can I stop now? Is it finished?"

Just in case you didn't know, Mr. Bill Watererson is one of the greatest artists of all time. It just so happens that he works in a medium that is not taken very seriously by very many folks. Fortunately, he takes it just seriously enough.

Good words are good for reading. I read good words frequently now that I am more lonely than before. I read good words before, too, but now I have more time to myself so I read good words more now than I did before I became lonely. I had a dream about being at work and making a movie. I work in a library. David Lynch was there and he thought my idea was good. It was a rip-off of one of his old ideas, but I don't think he noticed.

A long time ago I did a terrible thing. Up until that point I was pretty self-righteous, but I didn't put on airs, so that made me feel even more self-righteous. Then I did a terrible thing and I had to crawl in a hole for a while, and this nice lady helped me climb up out of it but then she went away. Now she is just a little voice in a box or some words on a screen. Almost like memories, but just a little bit more vivid.

She went away, and a lot of other people did, too. And I smoked some drugs and thought about things while I rode through traffic. Doing that terrible thing was pretty important because it destroyed my sense of self-righteousness. It made me wake up but I didn't realize what had happened because I was still kind of groggy. It usually takes me a while to get out of bed once I wake up in the morning. And I usually fall asleep and wake up a few times, too.

Now I know I woke up, but I think I went back to sleep and now I am dreaming. The hardest thing about waking up for me is staying that way and getting out of bed. I've done it before, though, so there's no reason why I can't do it again.